The Lonley Heart –

I no longer wish to understand, why loneliness feels and sounds so cold. Dark gray it’s gloomy, like a thunderstorm, with the loudest echo, I’ve ever known.

With the clouds, it brings an uneasy feeling of hearing  your own heart aching. Simply longing for someone to love it, adore it, and claim it for their taking.

The pounding and shaking  within the walls of an empty chest,
creating an echo so loud within, it’s impossible to seek rest.

Weary and exhausted, the clouds now bring uninvited desperation and pain. Loneliness loves company like misery I see, regardless of how often I show disdain.

The pain is so hot as it penetrates, and is so real  that it actually  begins to burn red. The desperation is so overwhelming that I know,  I’ll never be the same again.

Consuming me just like a fire, it engulfs the empty chambers in my chest. Leaving nothing behind but desires for acceptance, and those very same desires left abandoned, starved,  and unfed.

Longing for the sweet citrus taste of happiness, just like sweet lemonade, on a hot day. 
But instead of receiving refreshment, I’m handed the option of nearly going insane.  

The echo just grows louder and louder, refusing to go away.

Now, I stand here, staring blankly in the mirror. Vacant and lonely, entirely consumed by fear.

I tell myself, sounding as confident as I can be, ensuring I’m able to hear – 

There can be one only you, you’ve got to pull through! You will survive this storm- Somebody will find you, adore you, and will
love your lonely heart, as if it were their own! You’re destined for more than to just be alone, hang on….

Through the echoes and fear,  a faint and very sweet voice
actually broke through. It came from within me, my voice of reason, always speaking of what is absolute and true.

Then this sweet voice whispered to me….

Why don’t you? You can love your lonely heart, it’s not what you’re longing for, but it’s definitely a start! 

At that moment, I saw the life leave her beautiful eyes, even if she was not dead, she was certainly not alive.

She was me, a face and a soul that I no longer even recognized. Who is she, suggesting that I love this lonely and weak heart of mine? As if I don’t already suffer enough demise?

Now frustrated, I no longer wish to listen to anything she thinks she needs to say. 

Her voice coming upon me so innocent, but she seems like a fraud to me, just who is she trying to portray? 

Jealous and angered to discover she’s not broken like me. Not calloused, nor lonely, and knows nothing about such horrible pain.

No more self-talks, she can just remain silent! Along with everyone else, that pretends to understand, but will never know real pain, until you’re completely consumed by it. 

I’m slowly beginning to adapt to the gray loneliness, shoot, I almost prefer it. The echoes have quieted some, or maybe I’m just used to hearing it?

The pain still hurts however, it’s taking the longest to go away, but I have learned to keep the flames and red hot heat, somewhat tame.

At any given chance, I attempt to cool them, and now seek peace within the rain.

by|HD ©

This piece was a hard one for me, but I was feeling like a challenge – If you’ve been to my ‘Writing Prompts’ section, you will see some familiar lines from this piece.

Most choose one prompt to base a short story or poem on, but I couldn’t choose just one, so I chose 6! Cramming them all into one poem, just to see if it could even be done, and it can!

They are as follows:

  1. Start a short story or poem with the following: I know longer wish to understand….
  2. Turn on the radio, and use the first line you hear from the first song that comes on. (Mine was New Flame by Chris Brown, There Can Be One Only You)….I would get one that is grammatically a nightmare!
  3. Write poem describing the color and sound of loneliness (Color = Grey Clouds/Sound = Echo from the empty chest)
  4. Include the following statement in your poem or short story: And at that moment, I saw the life leave her beautiful eyes, even if, she was not dead.
  5. Write a piece describing the color of pain (Red hot) and the taste of happiness (citrus/lemonade, I had to choose something yellow as Van Gough thought the color yellow represented happiness, so he used to eat yellow paint, so theres your random fact for the day if you didn’t already know that.
  6. Lastly – End your poem or short story with the line “I find peace in the rain”

There you have it, a chaotic and somewhat sad poem, but in my opinion a fun piece, due to the challenge it presented. Also, it verifies that YES, writing prompts do help mix things up when you are drawing a blank, and they keep the creativity flowing.

Now, I am all warmed up to write something self-inspired, stay tuned! Be sure to follow The Peacock Diaries below, and if you’re not a member of WordPress, you can simply register your email with me, and you will still get notifications of new happenings on here.